“The perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.”
1. Be a Good Listener
Being a good listener is one of the most important things we can do to improve communication within marriage. When your spouse is talking about their day, something that interests them, or something they’re concerned about, be a focused listener. Effective listening requires you to pay attention to their tone of voice and body language as well as their words. It will provide a deeper insight into how they’re really feeling. Be sure to ask appropriate questions to let them know you’re listening and you care.
2. Leave Love Notes
Leaving a note of encouragement or inspiration for your spouse will let them know you’re thinking of them.
It can be as simple as “I love you!” “Good luck with your meeting today!” “I’m looking forward to our date this weekend!” or “I enjoyed our talk last night, thank you for listening to me." Imagine how good it would make you feel to get a note like this from your sweetie.
Writing your own love note may just encourage them to do the same. Part of improving communication in marriage has to do with expressing appreciation and gratitude for our partner and not taking them for granted. Love notes are a great way to do this.
3. Put Down the Phone
Are you often distracted with social media, emails, and text messages while your spouse is talking to you? Make a decision to always put down the phone and pay attention to your spouse when they’re trying to communicate. Let them know they are more important to you than anything else. Keeping your phone down & away will also help improve your attention span. The key is to not hold your phone even though it is off. Make sure your device is out of sight, mind, & reach.
Try creating a device-free schedule in your house; times of the day when phones or other devices are not allowed. This goes for the television as well. Even as background noise, the TV can be a distraction from communication.
This one small tip will improve communication in marriage so much!
4. Communicate Feelings And Needs
Your partner can’t read your mind and it isn’t fair to expect them to. You need to share your feelings and needs. If you need advice on how to do this, you can find detailed scripts for how to communicate your needs or attend our workshops. The main thing is approach your partner at a good time and share how you are feeling and ask for a specific solution.
Talk about your dreams. Talk about thoughts that cross your mind that will unite you more as a couple.
Avoid using one word responses. One word responses can come off as shutting someone down.
Know when to listen & when to speak. Make sure not to interrupt when your spouse is expressing their words & emotions.
5. Pray Together
Praying together as a couple is a very intimate & spiritual way of communication. Prayer is also a way to seek God's wisdom together. As you pray and come to agreements on matters, that certain discipline then builds unity and strength in the marriage. Prayer is also where you can fight for your marriage together when the difficult days come.
If you & your spouse have only prayed in silence next to one another, we encourage you to pray out loud. It will build your bond with one another as well as with the Lord.
